9 signs a "nice" person has bad intentions - The Expert Editor (2024)

We’ve all met them:

Individuals who come across as genuinely kind and considerate, the epitome of “nice,” only for us to later discover that their intentions were anything but good.

It’s a gut-punching experience that leaves us questioning our judgment and sometimes, even our faith in humanity.

So how do we differentiate between those who are genuinely good-hearted and those wearing a mask?

While there’s no foolproof method to see through everyone’s intentions, there are 9 telltale signs that might suggest someone’s niceness is just a façade to cover up less honorable motives.

1) They’re too eager to please

Have you ever met someone who just can’t seem to do enough for you? They’re always going out of their way, doing favors, and trying to please you.

It can be nice at first, I know. Who doesn’t love feeling special?

But when it’s constant and over-the-top, it can also be a sign that they’re trying too hard to win your approval.

Sounds familiar?

This could be because they have ulterior motives.

That’s why I’m sure about one thing:

Whenever someone in your life is a little too eager to please, it might be worth taking a closer look.

2) They’re quick to agree with everything you say

Let me take a wild guess:

You enjoy being around people who agree with us, right?

Admit it, we all do. Why?

Simple: it’s validating and comforting.

But if someone is always agreeing with everything you say, it could be a sign they’re not being genuine.

They might be agreeing just to get on your good side or to manipulate you later.

But you know what?

Everyone has different opinions and perspectives.

This means that if they’re always in agreement with you, it might be time to question their sincerity.

3) They give extravagant gifts

Let’s face it:

There’s something heartwarming about receiving a thoughtful present, especially when it comes out of the blue.

However, there’s a fine line between genuine generosity and gifts that feel like they have strings attached.

Let me explain what I mean.

Imagine a co-worker you barely know giving you an expensive watch for your birthday, or a new friend constantly picking up the tab for lavish dinners.

Initially, you might be flattered or feel special. But over time, questions start to arise.

• Why are they being so generous?
• What do they expect in return?

Extravagant gifts from someone who doesn’t have a close or established relationship with you can be a sign that they’re trying to win your favor for ulterior motives.

It could be a tactic to create a sense of obligation, or worse, to later use it as leverage (“After all I’ve done for you…”).

I know it’s great to appreciate kindness and generosity. But it’s also crucial to question the intentions behind grand gestures that seem out of proportion to the relationship.

A gift should feel like a heartfelt gesture, not a down payment on some future favor.

4) They’re always playing the victim

Ever met someone who seems to have an endless stream of sob stories?

Or perhaps you’ve met someone who never takes responsibility for their actions and always shifts the blame onto others?

If you find yourself constantly sympathizing and never receiving any support in return, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the situation.

Why?

Because playing the perpetual victim is a red flag that someone might not have the best intentions.

This tactic is often used to manipulate others into giving emotional or even tangible support without having to reciprocate.

It’s a way of hooking you into their drama, making you feel responsible for their well-being while conveniently sidelining your needs and feelings.

Ask yourself:

• Are they only interested in talking about their issues?
• Do they make you feel guilty for not helping them enough?
• Are you emotionally drained because you’re so wrapped up in their “problems”?

While it’s human to want to help those who seem like they’re struggling, it’s essential to recognize when someone’s victim mentality becomes a manipulative tool.

5) They’re overly secretive

Now, I’m all for respecting personal boundaries — not everyone is an open book, and that’s completely fine.

But there’s a difference between being private and being secretive to the point where it raises red flags.

If someone you’re regularly interacting with is suspiciously elusive or vague about significant aspects of their life, you might need to question why that is.

For example, I once knew someone who was charming and engaging but incredibly vague about what they did for a living.

They’d dodge questions, give generic answers, or cleverly change the subject.

It got to the point where it felt like they were hiding something, and guess what?

They were.

Turned out, they had a history of scamming people, and their secrecy was a way to keep their shady activities under wraps.

The thing is that genuine relationships are built on trust and openness.

If someone you’re dealing with is habitually secretive, it might be time to consider what else they could be hiding and whether their intentions are as “nice” as they seem.

6) They rarely make eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of nonverbal communication.

It’s often a sign of confidence, honesty, and emotional connection.

Interestingly, research suggeststhat when people make eye contact, they’re less likely to lie to you.

What does it mean?

When someone avoids meeting your eyes, especially during important or serious conversations, it can be a subtle but telling indicator that something’s off.

If you notice that a “nice” person rarely makes eye contact with you, it could mean they’re hiding something or being deceptive.

While it’s not a surefire sign of bad intentions, it’s enough to warrant caution. Keep your eyes open, in more ways than one.

7) They don’t respect your boundaries

You’d think someone who agrees with everything you say would be a good friend, right?

Wrong.

Constant agreement can actually be a sign that the person doesn’t respect your boundaries.

They might be trying to win you over, but for the wrong reasons.

For instance, you tell them you need some alone time to focus on work, and they say they totally understand.

Sounds good, right?

Except, they text you relentlessly during your “focus time,” arguing that they thought your rule wasn’t “strict” or that they had something “really important” to discuss.

The truth is that the subtle violation of your boundary here is a tactic to assert their own agenda while appearing to be considerate.

It’s this insidious bending of the rules —these small intrusions into your personal space and comfort — that reveal their true intentions.

They create a false sense of security, making you feel like you’re in control while they’re quietly steering the ship in their direction.

8) They gossip about others to you

Hold on a second.

If they’re willing to talk about others, what makes you think you’re the exception?

Gossip can be addictive — it gives you a sense of being on the “inside track”.

The result?

This makes you feel like you’re privy to confidential information.

But here’s the kicker: if someone gossips to you, they’re likely gossiping about you.

Common gossip topics to watch out for:

• Personal flaws or mistakes of mutual friends
• Details about someone’s relationship that you shouldn’t know
• Business or work-related information that’s confidential

Think about it.

Sharing gossip is a quick way to build a pseudo-intimate relationship.

It fosters a false sense of trust and closeness that’s built on shaky ground. The problem is that this “trust” is one-sided and easily broken.

9) They’re always in a rush

We all have busy days where we need to get things done quickly.

But if someone is constantly rushing you, cutting conversations short, or not giving you their full attention, it could be a sign of disrespect.

Want to know how this works?

Well, being in a constant hurry serves a dual purpose for those with hidden agendas:

It makes them seem important while also giving them an easy out from accountability or deeper engagement.

Think about the dynamics.

When someone is always hurried, you’re less likely to question them or their motives.

The rapid pace sets the stage for unquestioned compliance; after all, they’re “so busy” that questioning them feels like a burden, right? Wrong.

What’s especially alarming is that this behavior makes it easier for them to dodge critical or probing questions.

They can easily brush off your concerns with, “Can’t talk now, I’m swamped,” or “Let’s discuss this later,” effectively deferring any conversation that could expose their true intentions.

And if they’re avoiding these conversations, you have to wonder:

What are they hiding?

Being in a “rush” is not just a sign of a busy life; it’s a strategic maneuver to keep you at arm’s length while they proceed with their hidden agenda.

It’s a smoke-and-mirror tactic that leaves you with more questions than answers and keeps you in a perpetual state of uncertainty about their true intentions.

Final thoughts: The power of your instincts

Look, the world is filled with all kinds of people, each one carrying their own intentions, hidden or not.

But the one person you can and should always trust is yourself.

These signs I’ve just discussed are not isolated quirks but potential indicators of deeper issues.

And let’s be honest, the “nice” people we’ve talked about aren’t villains in a movie — they’re people you could meet any day. That’s why it’s crucial to pay attention to these subtle clues.